Fat Bible Bloke's Blog

O.K. Eden might be real; but no-one was there to check on Adam and Eve! Quite right; but no-one was there to see the creation; but the Bible seems pretty close. But does it really matter? The Important thing is what the story actually means. It explains how things started going wrong; not perfect for ever. And did they have apples, then? The Bible doesn't say it's an apple; never has done. It says "fruit". Whoops, wrong yet again! Over the years, lots of people have tried to illustrate the story of "The Fall", as it is called. Look at that weird picture! "The Garden of Eden" - painted by Lucas Cranach; born 1472, died 1553. Lucas Cranach the Elder (Lucas Cranach der Ältere, 4 October 1472 – 16 October 1553), was a German Renaissance painter and printmaker in woodcut and engraving. He was court painter to the Electors of Saxony for most of his career, and is known for his portraits, both of German princes and those of the leade...

What, on Earth, Went Wrong? We're answering your question (and the one in the little poem), namely; if God made everything so lovely and perfect, why is everything so unlovely and so imperfect in the world today? Yes, and if it's awful, why doesn't God do something to make it better? Which is why we need to go to the Garden of Eden. Surely there wasn't a real place. It's just a story, isn't it? The Bible actually tells us where the Garden is - or was. A stream flowed in Eden and watered the garden; beyond Eden it divided into four rivers. The first river is the Pishon; it flows around the country of Havilah. (Pure gold is found there and also rare perfume and precious stones.) The second river is the Gihon; it flows around the country of Cush. The third river is the Tigris, which flows east of Assyria, and the fourth river is the Euphrates.  So get the map! ... And tell me more. People have argued for centuries about where the Garden of E...

THE COMPUTER OF THE MIND "Where DID we come from," asked young Tim, "I'd really like to know, Not mum (and dad) - that sort of thing - But years and years ago?" The magic screen beside Tim's bed, A sort of television, Read the thoughts from in his head With incredible precision. The picture buzzed and squeaked and fuzzed Yet stayed completely black. "There's nothing there, maybe it's bust!" Tim gave it a mighty smack! Still nothing changed; then words shone out Scrolling past in red. "In the beginning there was nowt, Nothing, zilch," they said. "Let light appear!" - a heavenly sound Boomed out all over the place. From just a dot, then all around, This light filled all of space. A heavenly silver glistening light Shone and gleamed a swirled. The Voice again spoke out with might, "Let's now create a world!" Eddies came and span around, A sh...

A spooky bit of Science. That's Felix Whatshisname's balloon; the man who jumped out 24 miles up. Don't tell me that's got something to do with the Bible? I said this was a spooky bit of science and you'll probably think it's even more far fetched but ... ... do you remember this? Er, possibly? It's a map of the sky showing radiation stuff that proves that we had a big bang ... Big inflation! ... OK big inflation; a beginning, something from nothing, just like the Bible says. Absolutely, but why is it speckled. I guess because it's got lumpy bits in it. And those lumpy bits of matter sort of clumped together to form stars and, eventually, planet Earth. Remember, stuff condensed like steam on a cold window. So it's lumpy - so what? Well it shouldn't be lumpy. All the calculations, all the clever maths, points to a nice smooth inflation. But if there weren't lumps we wouldn't be here talking abo...

Six Days or 13.7 billion years? What a difference a day makes Twenty-four little hours Brought the sun and the flowers Where there used to be nought And so the whole universe was completed. By the seventh day God finished what he had been doing and stopped working. He blessed the seventh day and set it apart as a special day, because by that day he had completed his creation and stopped working. And that is how the universe was created. Well, you said you'd try to get out of this one. I've got a questions for you. Do I see a trick question coming? Not at all; a very factual question. When Mrs Armitage next door had her baby girl last year what did you pop through the letter box? A card, of course. A what was the picture on the card? It was a stork, carrying a baby. Why? You wouldn't send a picture of mum in the delivery room, would you? Best wishes, Mrs Armitage, glad to see you successfully had sex with Mr Armitrage! Its just a...

I'm getting more and more confused And I'm not surprised. People say that Darwin explained everything; but he didn't. Now we've got Darwin and genetics to think about. And their ideas don't match up. And neither can explain everything. Neither debate explains how a sea cucumber might sprout a couple of eyes! Or even why giraffes have long necks. Come on, that's easy; it's so they can reach tasty stuff high up in trees. Really? Have you ever seen a Giraffe drink? A long neck is a dis advantage here! Ouch! That looks painful! O.K. What do you believe, Mr Clever? Simple answer or complicated answer? Simple per-lease! The Bible wasn't interested in how God made the world, plants and you and me. The writers, probably around 4,000 years ago, had no knowledge of modern science; but they were keen to show that the beginning of life, the universe and everything was part of a grand plan and not a freak accident . But ...

What about my genes? They're a bit tight; and I don't like the faded bits! Oh, hysterically funny! Genes,NOT Jeans! They say it's all in the genes! Did Darwin know about Genes? Good question; and no, he didn't . The science of genetics had not been invented. yet. In a way this part of the story began... ... with peas and this man:- Gregor Johann Mendel from Silesia [Austrian Empire] Born July 20 1822 : Died January 6 1884 Mendel was boss of this Abbey at Brno in Czecoslovakia ... ... where he experimented with peas, sweet peas, grown for their flowers, not as a vegetable. He was trying to find out why the flowers were sometimes pinky-purple and sometimes white. Or why you have got your mum's green eyes; but you haven't got your dad's big nose! No need to get personal! Mendel devised a set of rules which began to explain how peas get some bits from their "mother" pea and other bits from their "father" p...